I went to the Texas Renaissance Festival for the first time dressed as a banana. Here’s how it went.

The best way to describe the Texas Renaissance Festival is: It’s like going back in time, everyone calls you a “lord” and for some reason Captain America is there too. 

More than 50 miles away from Houston in a tiny town called Todd Mission, the renaissance festival is one of the largest in the nation, bringing visitors from all over the world. I had never been and wanted to know what makes it such a popular attraction, so I set out last Sunday to find out for myself.

Dressing the part

Several people told me many visitors spend the entire year crafting their own costumes for the next festival, with some using real armor and weapons costing more than $1,000. 

It’s not required to dress up, but encouraged. Many people dress up in slick robes and royal dresses. Some people get more creative and dress up as dragons, Marvel characters cosplaying as pirates, or even Elvis with elf ears. The sky is the limit. 

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I have never been one to dress up, so I decided to get a costume that was easily recognizable. I went to Spirit Halloween and headed straight to the back.

A costume labeled “Oktoberfest Piggyback,” looked perfect for the festival. I looked at the price tag — $60. So I went with a banana costume that cost $30 instead. 

It wasn’t until later that I realized, as an introvert, I had chosen the loudest and most fascinating costume possible. I wasn’t mentally prepared. 

Arriving at the festival 

Even before entering the festival grounds, its mark on the town of Todd Mission is clear. 

Two business signs read “Renaissance Business Park” and “Renaissance Shooting Club.” I started to wonder if the whole city is renaissance-themed. There isn’t a renaissance court or jail, but the owner of the Renaissance Festival, George Coulam, has been mayor since the city was incorporated in 1982. 

As you enter the festival, many staff members acknowledge you, calling men and women “lord” or “lady.” I was just called “banana.”

When I crossed the main gate, a worker immediately approached me to say “try not to slip, you could hurt other people around you.”

I began to regret my choice of costume. 

Watching worldwide performers

The festival hosts nearly 60 local and international performers. I arrived at the Odeon stage to Sound and Fury, a vaudeville nouveau troupe that combined “Hamlet” and “Romeo and Juliet” to deliver a performance close to The Marx Brothers and The Three Stooges.  

Founded by Richard Maritzer, the group had been performing at the festival since 2000. The group originally started in California; performing at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in Scotland, the Adelaide Fringe Festival in Australia and festivals in Canada. 

The group includes Maritzer, who also has a business creating escape rooms, Ryan Adam Wells, an Americana song writer, and Cassie Townsend, whose performed at renaissance festivals for 20 years. 

They recommended that I stay for the next show, Arsene Dupin, and that I stay away from the turkey leg. I didn’t tell them that I did plan to try the turkey leg. 

Dupin, inspired by Charlie Chaplin and other silent comedians, has performed across the globe for more than 45 years. He’s even performed for late President George H.W. Bush and First Lady Barbara Bush at the White House. 

Dupin told me he first started performing in France, joining a nearby circus. He first became interested in circus work after touring American National Parks in 1978. At 17, he met a juggler and magician. When he returned to France, he started to practice juggling. He went to his parents and told them “look, I can eat an apple and juggle two balls.” 

I can’t imagine the face my father would make if I told him this. 

Dupin said his parents told him they didn’t think his newly found skills would be a good profession. But his resume says otherwise. 

Anxiety doesn’t help with dancing

I left the Odeon stage and headed to The Barbarian Inn, a pub where I was told I could find turkey legs. 

This part of the experience is when I really started to shine in my costume. 

Many people, but mostly children, yelled out things such as “banana boy” and “peanut butter jelly time.” It felt like I was a member of The Wiggles — and I did not enjoy it. 

The Barbarian Inn doesn’t actually sell food, but it does have The Barbarian Bombshells.

The trio, Dana Graham, Sarah Ip and Cheyenne James, aim to “teach the women and filthy manservants of the land how to drink, fight and have a bawdy good time.” 

They sang, they danced — they even yelled at me to dance. My anxiety was through the roof, which did not help with my dance moves. 

After the show, Ip told me she had just started going to the festival a couple of years ago. The first time, it rained and made she did not enjoy herself. She gave it another chance and now she’s a performer. 

Ip pointed me to a food vendor called Polonia. 

Blood sausage, turkey legs and a cheesecake on a stick

The food vendor is called Polonia. My friend and I bought a turkey leg, the blood sausage plate and a chocolate-covered cheesecake on a stick. As I held the turkey leg in my hand, I immediately felt like a caveman. 

The turkey leg tasted exactly how I imagined it would taste, like turkey. I took a bite of the blood sausage. It tasted like ground beef with a hint of iron. I followed that up with a bite of cheesecake and immediately regretted it. It was a disgusting combination.

‘A sense of community’

Throughout my trip, I was trying to figure out what draws people to this festival. Many people responded like Gil, a groom who was there with four other men wearing “Team Groom” sashes for his bachelor party. 

Gil, a Las Vegas resident, said he has been to the festival once before and wanted to share the experience with his groomsmen, who were all first-timers. 

“With the sense of community they have here, it’s different,” he said. “I feel like the people out here are just to have fun in a big community and just enjoy it.” 

Ip echoed the sentiment. 

“(The festival) is true love for history, nerdom and community,” Ip said. “A lot of great artists are here. They are passionate about creating real products by hand and being able to share them with the masses…I think what it all comes down to is sharing is caring and good policy of acceptance. We don’t like bigotry here.”

I wanted to get the full experience in one day, but it just wasn’t possible. There’s so much that I didn’t get a chance to explore.

I ended the day with the jousting event at The Arena. I have never seen a crowd of people shout for blood. It’s a great performance, because it made my anxiety kick back in, worrying about the knights. 

As I left the festival grounds, I was showered by people shouting “banana.” I could not wait to take that costume off.